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Following suit.
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Oct. 3rd, 2006 @ 03:25 am
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I just recently (as in less than 5 minutes ago) noticed that my old friend ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) millennial had retired his journal (over a month ago).
I also recently noticed that my last "actual" entry (not including this) was in march. The july one was automatically done by digg.
So, in following suit, I think I'll retire my journal as well.
Between this one and my old one (d1g1t4lr34l1ty), I think there is enough of my self-pity and angst on the internet.
I wonder what my next outlet will be? |
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Mar. 29th, 2006 @ 03:16 am
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Current Mood:  undefined
I've come through a lot to get me where I am. The stress I feel these days is high. I still struggle with the other "mes" inside, the ones that have a tendency to sabbotage me. The ones that are meant as a security measure, but instead undermine my attempts at success. I have found that the further that I get in catching these other versions of me up to where I stand now, and help them realize that I do not need their "security" anymore, the more I realize the next step in my healing process will involve anger. I have noticed higher levels of actual expressed anger toward people that piss me off. I think my ability to hold that in is tied to my other "mes."
I don't know what is next.
Oh, I also put a staple THROUGH the tip of my finger. And, it didn't hurt. I am now less afraid of piercings. The staple entered the tip of my finger and penetrated through my nail, and came out of the other side. I pulled it out with a pair of pliers. If you'd like to see the lovely stapler that did it: Click Here
For those who don't want to read, the stapler, MECHANICALLY puts standard staples through 25 sheets of paper. Can embed them into wooden chairs, or shoot them across a room. It also easily penetrates skin. As it were, it does this effortlessly (one finger will do the trick). I could have taken the staple out of my finger, and put it right back into the stapler, and used it again, as it was not bent. |
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Building my own computer, Part 2
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Feb. 12th, 2006 @ 05:16 pm
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Current Mood:  annoyed
So, I finally got my computer working. I ordered a working motherboard from ASUS, and now I have a working system. One problem. In the midst of it, I went to format my 80GB HD and it wouldn't get past 3%. Everytime. I tried doing it with 3 different programs. Partition magic locked at 3%, Windows locked at 3%. Windows setup on the other hand went up to 3% at a slow speed and then finished the rest in less than a minute. Afterward, it told me that the disk was damaged and could not be formatted.
After all of that, now my bigger hard drive is dead. Fuck. I don't have the money to get another until maybe after spring break.
but my Pentium D system is up and running! |
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Building my first computer.
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Jan. 25th, 2006 @ 03:14 am
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Current Mood:  fucking pissed
So, I got my RAM and put all my computer parts together today.
And when I turned it on, everything started whirring and making noise. Then, I didn't hear a beep. (Insert Long Story Here)....Called MSI (mobo mfr.) and found out that, although their site and newegg's site don't specify which of the Intel Pentium D's work on the board, only that Pentium D's work, that my Pentium D 920 does not function in this board. Only the 8xx's function in the board. BUT NEITHER SITE SPECIFIES A SERIES NUMBER! So, now, I have to send my board back, at my own expense, and get another one, that DOES support the chip.
I just want a working compy :( |
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Back in the poor house.
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Jan. 18th, 2006 @ 03:06 am
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Current Mood:  excited
So, who wants to buy $800 in computer parts?
That's right. Me.
-Intel Pentium D 920 at 2.8
-MSI Mobo, for the Pent.D, with DDR2 DC 667, Sata-II (eSata?), Sata, IDE, PCIX-16, PCIX-1, PCI, USB2 (4 on the back, 6 pin headers), 2 firewire, On-Board GBit LAN...etc
-eVGA nVidia 6600GT PCIX-16, 128 MB GDDR3
-512 DDR2 667 (5300)
-Sony DVD+/-RW|DL+/-RW|CD-RW
-Power SUpply (500W)
-Thermal Paste
etc. etc.
Talk later, when I get said parts. |
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R.I.P. Pres. David Palmer
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Jan. 16th, 2006 @ 03:50 am
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Current Mood: excited
Well, for the past few months I had been reading up on 24 rumors, to see if I could shed light on what might be happening on 24 this season. Among many of that stuff, I found a few sources that referred to "many series regulars" being killed in the first few minutes. I also found something that referred to "someone important" being killed. On top of those two, I also came across something that talked about "people that knew Jack was alive" being killed one by one. Couple that with the FOX ads with a shot of a sniper rifle, and another with something blowing up, and it starts to get clear. So I thought to myself "What big characters could they kill off?" Palmer, Tony, Michelle, Chloe, and Jack were the only ones to come to mind, as they were the only ones that knew Jack was alive. It was obvious, given that Kiefer had signed on for another season, that he wasn't out. So the big target, would have been Palmer. Easy enough. I thought "well, Palmer is probable gonna get shot." It later become obvious that Tony and Michelle were next as soon as the scene in their house was taking place. I was waiting for that car to blow up, but not the second time. So, I essentially ruined the "big" surprises.
Still there is only one 24 moment that got everyone. And that was around 11:59pm, on Day 1.
Oh, BTW, I'm now 22. Yea for me. |
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Really?
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Dec. 28th, 2005 @ 05:36 pm
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Current Mood:  silly
Damnit.
Haughty Intellectual
You are 85% Rational, 14% Extroverted, 14% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.
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You are the Haughty Intellectual. You are a very rational person, emphasizing logic over emotion, and you are also rather arrogant and self-aggrandizing. You probably think of yourself as an intellectual, and you would like everyone to know it. Not only that, but you also tend to look down on others, thinking yourself better than them. You could possibly have an unhealthy obsession with yourself as well, thus causing everyone to hate you for being such an elitist twat. On top of all that, you are also introverted and gentle. This means that you are just a quiet thinker who wants fame and recognition, in all likelihood. Rather lacking in emotion, introspective, gentle, and arrogant, you are most certainly a Haughty Intellectual! And, most likely, you will never achieve the recognition or fame you so desire! Sweet!
To put it less negatively:
1. You are more RATIONAL than intuitive.
2. You are more INTROVERTED than extroverted.
3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.
4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.
Compatibility:
Your exact opposite is the Schoolyard Bully. (Bullies like to beat up nerds, after all.)
Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Braggart, the Hand-Raiser, and the Robot.
*
*
If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.
The other personality types:
The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.
The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.
The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.
The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 75% on Rationality | | You scored higher than 12% on Extroversion | | You scored higher than 9% on Brutality | | You scored higher than 63% on Arrogance |
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I EXCLAIM!
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Dec. 26th, 2005 @ 09:26 pm
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Current Mood:  bored
I'm freaking bored.
Oh yeah, and apparently, I'll be on the Dean's List. |
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The countdown....
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Dec. 16th, 2005 @ 07:43 pm
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Current Mood: fucking happy
Grades This semester:
(3) Institutions: A
(3) Data Structures: A
(3) Sound Design: AB
(4) Calculus 2: B
(1) Object Oriented Design: A
G.P.A: (14) 3.6
I fucking rock! |
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The grades are coming, the GRADES ARE COMING!
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Dec. 16th, 2005 @ 07:42 pm
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Current Mood:  nervous
Well, I just finished my first semester of classes since I returned to school, And I haven't recieved all of my grades yet. I actually have only recieved one. I'm scared, because my Calculus 2 final raped me in the behind, and my Data Structures final was a little harder than I anticipated. |
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Whoa, where am I?
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Dec. 11th, 2005 @ 08:11 am
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Current Mood:  lost
Hmmm, it appears that I still have a journal.....
I had almost forgot. |
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Well, something that I think Microsoft is doing RIGHT.
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Nov. 21st, 2005 @ 01:21 am
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Current Mood:  shocked
Apparently, in a move that shocked the hell out of me, you can get the big 4 Visual Studio products, free (limited), if you download them in the next year or so. They will then start charging $50 for the entire package.
Most of the stuff that I would use or would like to use is included in the "Express" editions, including access to the new .NET Framework. The only issue I have is that they provide *NO* deployment tools. Otherwise, this is the first time in a long time that I would like to say to Microsoft, "Good Job guys!" |
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I think the test is rigged.
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Oct. 25th, 2005 @ 01:28 pm
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Current Mood: silly
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Hidden Entry.
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Oct. 9th, 2005 @ 07:40 pm
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Current Mood:  informative
*** The Entry Preceding this one is private and hidden from public view.*** |
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Depression, the school, and gardening.
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Oct. 9th, 2005 @ 01:59 pm
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Current Mood: less stressed Current Music: Ben Folds - Late
So, I've been seeing a "therapist" (the counselor at school, who basically is my therapist) weekly since the beginning of school, and I've been doing good. We've avoided medication, and I'm sticking good to school. I've not skipped any classes, and although I have woken up late once or twice, I still went to class, which is something that I would not have done before. All the stuff that I have done for classes lately have come back with A's on them (90%+) which is great, and on top of that I am staying ont top of my homework for the most part ( I have missed a Calc assignment or two). But things are going great so far.
Oh, and yes:
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Hey, you can win a free iPod!
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Sep. 24th, 2005 @ 02:27 am
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On rage, roomates, and honesty.
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Aug. 31st, 2005 @ 12:35 am
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Current Mood: frustrated
It gets overwhelming sometimes. I have been able to bite my lip a lot, but it is becoming harder to do so. I think that I have held up so much inside that there isn't room anymore. Today alone, I went off on both of my roommates, for questioning me or things about me. They're little things, but I've reached a point where I don't want to keep quiet. One of my roommates questioned my taste in watching a TV show, and my other one questioned my honesty. The honesty thing is a big one for me, because I have tried very hard to become more honest to the people around me, as opposed to lying about anything and everything. The only person I lie to anymore really is my father, and that's an act at not dissappointing him. I try to hide my failures from him, and to do that I need to lie every now and again. |
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Home > 94 > 696 > 75 > MB > 2 > 77 > 28 > 41 > Houghton
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Aug. 19th, 2005 @ 04:32 am
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Current Mood:  Excitedly Tired
This will be my last post before I get to Tech. I am extremely tired right now, but I will get to sleep in 5 hours. Once I wake up, I get to drive 10 hours. Yea! See you folks on the flip side. |
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I'm not a praying man....but.....
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Aug. 16th, 2005 @ 10:20 pm
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Current Mood:  pissed off
After all the stuff I'm going through to get back into school, it never fails that another problem will arise in the NellieMae/Tech communcation area. Now tech wants 3000 for my tuition, because I'm guessing that NellieMae hsn't paid up yet. NellieMae said they'd pay up yesterday. I'm sick and tired of neither one of these two institutions doing anything remotely useful in regard to me borrowing money. AAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!! I leave in 4 fucking days and I'm still not sure that I will be able to do it, and everytime I think it's ok, something else gets fucked up. |
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Google, google, google.....
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Aug. 16th, 2005 @ 01:49 am
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Current Mood:  hiding something
Google used their "maps" interface to show the moon landing sites. If you zoom all the way in, you can actually see the lunar landers.
moon.google.com |
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Repeating classes can save you a little money / why I'm ready to not work for Blockbuster
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Aug. 14th, 2005 @ 01:01 am
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Current Mood:  falling down stairs hurts
Books this semester are only going to cost $94. That's pretty good. Then again, I have the books for two of the classes, one of my classes doesn't have a book, and the other two have really cheap books. Oh, well, I was prepared to spend much more than that.
I'm almost done working for Blockbuster, maybe. I may or may not work for the one in Houghton, as I have said time and time again. It depends. I'm sick of a lot of things, but I'm going to miss a lot of the other things. I must be the only store / only district that didn't get a whole bunch of 16/17 year old high school students who could give a fuck less about their job, just as long as they get their paycheck. I keep hearing (and seeing) from everywhere else that I am truly luck in this regard. I'm also pretty tired of being told by some of (not all of) my bosses, that I can't give movies negative reviews. If 25 customers come and tell me that Alexander sucks, I'm going to tell the next one that asks me if it's good, that no, it isn't, or at least not according to the last 25 people that brought it back. I'm tired of Corporate sending a whole bunch of really horrible movies to our store, and not nearly enough of the good ones. I'm tired of Corporate being the SOLE decider of which movies we do not get, and which ones we do. Or which ones to take off the shelves and which ones not to. It really should be up to the store manager, as he knows his (or her) customers the best. I'm also pretty tired of the impersonal treatment that Corporate has toward the employees of their "BU"s (Stores. It stands for business unit, which I guess makes the big wigs feel better when they act like employees are just money. Makes it feel less personal.) And most of all, I'm tired of an antiquated computer system that I could redesign better by myself, and that just happens to be a year my junior.
Well, that was a rant. Oops. Just excited to get away from working I guess. Speaking of, I have to be there in 8 hours or so. |
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A watched pot never boils....
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Aug. 12th, 2005 @ 11:44 pm
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Current Mood:  I don't know.
...and an unattended student loan doesn't get processed. I swear that I might as well be working at Nellie Mae at this point, because if I didn't call them, my loans would never get processed.
I call them today to get the scheduled disbursement dates for my loans (in other words, seeing if they were approved and processed) and the guy tells me that noone has *TOUCHED* my loan since August 1st. In essence, if I didn't call them, they would not have done anything. So they, with the motivation of me asking them why, go ahead and actually process them. Tonight, they re-passed the credit check (which if they didn't I'd be pissed, because my credit hasn't changed since the last time they passed the credit check), and are scheduled for disbursement.
I now know more about the student loan process than I ever wanted to.
Not only that, but my ass hurts cause I just fell down the stairs. Ahhhh, sssssssssssss! Ahhhh, sssssssssssss.... |
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...2 damn semesters, it was only $17 grand....
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Aug. 12th, 2005 @ 12:30 am
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Current Mood: fucking excited
So, counting down, I have a week and a day left (plus about 3 hours). I plan on leaving August 20th, 3am (Friday night/Saturday Morning) so that I can be there Saturday afternoon to check in.
I get my second to last paycheck from Blockbuster as of the 19th, that Friday, and I might get another, although smaller, check two weeks later. With any luck, I might be able to work an occasional shift at the Blockbuster in Houghton, but the odds of that are looking quite grim.
Once I get up there I have limited time to adjust to school life again, and have many things that need to be done. One, I have to unpack everything. Two, I have to buy books with the negative balance on my bill. Three, I have to get situated with appointments at the White House again. Four, get on the medication that they will inevitably give me. Five, actually attend ALL of my classes, EVERY day. Six, repeat 1-5 for the next two-three years, with 3-4 being unnecessary if I am "cured."
But all in all, I have not been this excited since my first summer at Cedar Point, and my first year at school. I'm looking forward to everything; the drive, the people, Winter Carnival, Broomball. I really do mean everything.
(d:hh:mm:ss)
8:02:29:59, 8:02:29:58, 8:02:29:57, 8:02:29:56, 8:02:29:55, 8:02:29:54.... |
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It has two colors!
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Aug. 5th, 2005 @ 05:21 pm
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Current Mood: happy
I installed a car radio today. I'm special.
I like it.
Features...
Now I just need speakers!
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On another note, my AP scores got to MTU. I got my 4 credits. My enrollment is confirmed and tech now owes me $1,330. Happy days are here again! |
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Words mean nothing at a time like this....
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Jul. 27th, 2005 @ 12:45 am
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Estuans interius, ira vehementi.......
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Jul. 24th, 2005 @ 10:52 pm
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Current Mood: pleased
Thank god for Encores, that's all I have to say about that. Next thing on my "looking forward to it" list is school. Night. |
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Don't change your plans......
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Jul. 21st, 2005 @ 07:35 pm
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Current Mood:  near nervous breakdown
My father has found and is procuring a vehicle for me to use during the upcoming college year. A year in which I nearly lost this afternoon.
I got a call from the loan counselors at NellieMae, informing me that my second loan, in which I had to yell at Tech about was not going to be available without a co-borrower. The reason you ask? Michigan Tech certified me as a freshman. NellieMae requires that freshman have a co-borrower. Funny thing is that the same person who certified my first loan also did my second, and that odd because my first loan was certified as a Junior. I talked to that person, they said that they only did both as a Freshman and that it was NellieMae's fault. And NellieMae told me that they had nothing to do with it, and that tech was the only one who could have done it. In tech's eye I am 2 credits away from sophmore status, which would release me from this whole co-borrower thing.
2 credits. That pissed me off. I wanted to throw things, break them. Kill people. I sat for 45 minutes in shock, in anxiety. I was loking forward to getting into school, and couldn't wait. Now the college plans were starting to swirl around the drain. Suddenly it hits me. I know how I can have more credits in a matter of a week. 4 more to be exact. I would just have to call certain people, and get some history sent to Tech.
I took two AP tests 3 years ago. One for Calculus, one for Physics. The Calc AB and the Physics C-M test, to be exact. Although taking Calc in college forfeited the calc points, I was still qualified to recieve 4 credits for scoring a 4 on the Physics C-M test. With those 4 credits, I would get sophmore status, and would be able to recieve the loans. I called CollegeBoard, and $25 later, I had rush delivery of my transcript ordered for delivery to Tech (one week; rush my ass...)
So, I lost it and then I might have gotten it back. I have to wait and see, again. I get my Chevy Tracker tomorrow night. |
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We'll win the game in the glorious name of the Michigan Michigan Michigan Engineers!
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Jul. 16th, 2005 @ 09:23 pm
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Current Mood: chipper
So, in about a week and day, I'll be sitting in front of the Detroit Symphony Orchestra, listening to music from Final Fantasy. Good stuff, I've been looking forward to this for months.
My MTU odds are almost 99%, and my father has already decided to take a vacation for that week, so that he can drive me up and then take the rest of the week off. I'm REALLY looking forward to getting back up there.
I'm almost done working for blockbuster, completely. They don't know it yet. I think that I am going to avoid having a job while at school so that I can concentrate on it and it alone. I might do some part time custodial for the res halls again, just to get a couple bucks here and there, but beyond that, I want to stop for a while.
All in all, everything is looking pretty good. I wish that I would be able to take me car with me, but I think that my car has seen the end of it's useful life. We'll probably end up donating it for a tax write off. Oh well.
Life is good. I feel pretty good, although a little tired. August 22nd will be here faster than I realize. |
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I'm going to be in debt up to my eyeballs.
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Jul. 7th, 2005 @ 01:23 pm
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Current Mood: ecstatic
So, in a final update until I get my bill on the 22nd, with Financial Aid, and my Nellie Mae loans (total $10,000, both approved) I'll be able to go to school there and not pay a dime to them out of pocket until I am done. Hallelujah. |
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Son of a.....
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Jul. 7th, 2005 @ 03:32 am
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Current Mood: calm
...bitch, part 2. I got all bitchy with the MTU people. "Why didn't I get this, and why am I not qualified for that?" They told me they'd see what they could do. Apparently they did it earlier today. I went to check it later, and apparently they added three things to that. So from 7,625 to 13,000+. I applied for a second loan just in case, and that was before I found out about the extra stuff. But I may or may not need it. UPDATE: I need it. |
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Son of a.....
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Jul. 6th, 2005 @ 06:05 pm
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Current Mood: enraged
...bitch. MTU is fucking me. Hard. They only offered me the Direct Loan. Every year before this one I got something more than that. I got the Perkins Loan and the University Student Award, and because I didn't go to the school last year, which means that I didn't get those, that means I can't get them this year. So basically, my Financial Aid is nothing, except what I got on my own, plus the direct loan. Assholes. Somebody is going to try and get me into the Perkins loan, and maybe the U.S.A. I just applied for a second $5,000 from Nellie Mae. I'll know by tomorrow whether or not I got it.
damnit. |
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Better than a manicure.
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Jul. 6th, 2005 @ 02:08 am
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Current Mood: movie bummed me out
If you haven't seen it, or heard of it, you may want to pick up a movie by the name of "Mean Creek" and give it a whirl. Very dramatic, and tense. Great story, great movie.
Also, while you're at it, take a look at "The Machinist." Christian Bale stopped eating so that he could play the part, and he makes it plainly clear how much food he missed out on. |
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Blogging takes a screwed turn.
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Jul. 3rd, 2005 @ 11:20 pm
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Current Mood: weirdly interested
So, they found the Idaho girl, but not her brother. She was found with a man named Duncan, at a Denny's.
Duncan, a registered sex offender, and exconvict, maintained a website and a blog. The website, formerly www.fifthnail.com, is no longer around. On the other hand, the blog, fifthnail.blogspot.com is. |
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Piano Part Second Draft
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Jun. 30th, 2005 @ 08:39 pm
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Current Mood: pleased
Music to go with the lyrics that I have on protected exhibition.
Eve It's OK - Piano Only - Second Draft |
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Like I know enough about anyone to respond to a reply.
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Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 09:19 pm
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Current Mood: nothing in particular
In compliance with the Weblog Rules and Regulations handbook, Chapter 5, Article 9, Paragraph 2 entitled "Proper handling of Memes":
1. Reply and I’ll write something about you.
2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I will tell you my first memory of you.
5. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I’ll then tell you something that I’ve always wondered about you.
7. Then post this in your own journal |
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Protected Entry Below
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Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 04:48 am
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Current Mood: informative
***The Entry preceding this one is protected and hidden from public view.*** |
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Lyrics for "Eve It's OK" - first draft.
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Jun. 29th, 2005 @ 04:47 am
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Current Mood:  artistic
"She's bleeding from a cut
that she gave herself by mistake.
But the pain gtakes her mind
off the life that she hates.
She always believes
Her next friend is her next enemy.
She needs to believe
What she sees wont always be
true
Eve it's ok,
It'll work out one day.
But until then,
you need to find a friend,
who will know you as well,
as you think you know your self.
Eve,
it's ok.
She's laughing at a joke
that she heard from a friend today.
But the pain creeps back in,
and takes the smile away.
She always sees
All The scars deep within.
She needs to see
that the scars aren't all that she is
Eve it's ok,
It'll work out one day.
But until then,
you need to find a friend,
who will know you as well,
as you think you know your self.
Eve,
it's ok.
Mistakes become intentions,
As she hides in the dark.
ALone by her bedside,
she stares at the marks.
She hides what she hates,
but she can't from herself.
Why try anymore?
Why not try and be yourself?
Eve it's ok,
It'll work out one day.
But until then,
you need to find a friend,
who will know you as well,
as you think you know your self.
Eve,
it's ok.
it's ok." |
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TV > Video Game > Movie > Suckage?
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Jun. 26th, 2005 @ 09:54 pm
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Current Mood:  pessimistic
"A movie based on the Fox series 24 is in the works according to The Calgary Sun. Whether it will be shot in real-time though is still up for consideration, says the show's Canadian director/producer Jon Cassar.
"The last I heard, the first hour will not be in real-time, but then something big will happen and real time will kick in. It still has to be worked out -- it's at a stage where they need to write it" said Cassar
He will not predict a storyline for the big screen version of the hugely popular show. He says the script will likely depend on what's happening on the series prior to the movie coming out. "It could still be two years from now, so it's far too early to say," he says, adding even if he did know, he wouldn't give it away."
This is the kinda stuff I was hoping wouldn't happen. I'd like it. But it's becoming way too mainstream for me to like it at this point. Oh, I'll end up watching it anyway. |
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Quick Update
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Jun. 24th, 2005 @ 11:51 pm
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Current Mood:  anxious
Well I managed to not overdraft my account for the second time in a month. I was at a low again waiting for my miniscule paycheck. $7.04 for about 3 days. Man, that sucked.
I lost ten pounds by being broke. Suddenly considered Anorexia as a dieting option.
MTU still hasn't determined/sent me my aid package. A.K.A. They have not given me anytime to prepare a Plan B.
I'm still doing the training at BB for shift leader, even though I probably won't be working in that district much longer. The BB in Houghton told me my best option with a transfer is to simply stop working at this one (which will happen regardless if I can get to Tech) and if they have room, and if my car is fixed, I can work there. I have 30 days of unemployment by BB before I would have to retrain. At least my current Store Manager and District Leader are very understanding and helpful. They know that I'll be heading out and are still trying to get me trained as a SL before I go.
I can't wait to get back to Tech. |
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$5,000 better be enough, damnit
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Jun. 15th, 2005 @ 05:50 am
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Current Mood: chipper
Well, in a twist of plot, I managed to score an approval for $5,000 loan. Now Tech just has to approve it's use and how much and I'm set. Hell fucking yeah. |
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Why do I take these surveys?
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Jun. 14th, 2005 @ 01:48 am
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Current Mood:  amused
( The survey ) |
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It happened once....
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Jun. 13th, 2005 @ 11:15 pm
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Current Mood: worried
Now my dad has cancer. Fun. |
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One in the same.
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Jun. 4th, 2005 @ 04:15 am
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Current Mood:  calmly venting
And now...For an ever so calm venting.
You can say whatever you want. You can do whatever you want. I stopped doing stuff that at one time was considered harrassment. But you aren't (or maybe weren't) doing anything different than I am (was), the only difference is I didn't secure any of it.
It's not like anyone beside millennial, Me, and maybe you read this thing anyway.
Note that if you thought I saw anything, you're wrong. I can't, couldn't, won't be able to. My point in all that was to simply say, I hope you aren't talking about me negatively. I don't do it, unless I am angered into it by something said to me, or done to me. I could say, could have said some mean shit. Words like "hate" weren't and aren't ever used. Simply stating facts and my feeling-based-opinions about them is what I do. If I am angry, then how I respond to facts is a little more harsh. If I am happy, then...well you get the picture.
You are always going to be defensive. No matter what, a simple slip up will set you out on the defensive.
I never got mad at the minor shit. I never took offense to the minor shit. Just the big, obvious, life affecting stuff. It just comes out smaller and insignificant.
(My caps are not for shouting, they are for eye-grabbing)
P.S. - EVERYONE WHO READS THIS (ALL 2-3 OF US), I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF SAYING STUFF LIKE THIS IN PERSON. THAT'S WHY I USE A JOURNAL. I AM OFFICIALLY AN ANGSTY, FEAR DRIVEN, SOCIALLY INEPT PERSON. BUT THE FACT THAT I SAY THINGS HERE DOESN'T MAKE ME ANY LESS WRONG OR RIGHT. IT JUST MAKES ME OUT AS MORE OF A "PUSSY." |
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I'm going to write some songs.
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Jun. 3rd, 2005 @ 04:57 pm
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Current Mood: optimistic
So, a few weeks ago, I decided to start putting together a CD worth of original music. As it were, that's a lot harder than it looks. As I finish them, I will somehow post them here for listening.
The hardest part seems to be the writing of lyrics, or at least for me. I can somewhat throw down some new piano stuff, especially when I get an idea in my head, but the lyric part is harder for me. I was going to have millennial help me, but he's busy with something new right now. Oh well.
Some working titles for ideas I have (they are all for separate ideas):
Eve Sits Alone
It's Time
For Years
Melody for Piano
Old Friends
Deafening Silence |
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The extent of my privacy.
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Jun. 3rd, 2005 @ 04:03 pm
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Current Mood: refreshed
Until today, I had two or three things hidden in my journal. One was a quick comment I made to myself, but figuring certain people were reading my journal, I hid it, it's now public [Memory ID# 13193]. The other was a direct quote from someone, that I wanted to save, so when I looked at it a month later, I'd realize my own place in the world. That one, I'm leaving hidden, because it contains a lot of personal information about someone, which out of fairness I will not make public, and this explains that [Memory ID# 21979]. And there is one I edited to also aid in the privacy of others [Memory ID# 6396]. Otherwise, everything else here is public.
In the future, when there is something hidden, I will post right after it, stating that there is something hidden and why. |
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Holy shit, he has a kid.
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May. 30th, 2005 @ 05:28 am
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Current Mood: shocked
EDITED:
Not quite as crazy for myself, but definitely crazy.
It brings me back to stuff she said back when I was still on her friends list.
She always talked about adopting children. And stuff she said about wanting a family, and the whole lot. It really hit me then, and now with the sudden shock of it happening to Mike, it really occurs to me that that is something I want. A family. Children. No offense, but I never wanted to adopt, but for certain people, and certain situations, one should be willing to compromise, as it wasn't in my control, if that ever had come to be. But just wanting to have someone to raise, and to love. That looks up to you, and everything. The teenage years where you love them too much and they hate you for it. That's partly what helped me realize that I need to get my act together.
I decided that I was going to wait until I got back up to Tech to even start pursuing relationships again. I've let way more time than absolutely necessary go by. I figure, if I'm at tech, and getting the counseling I still could use, and have a healthy, positive relationship, then that should promote good learning. And as long as the relationship goes well, that might lead to a family. But, I want to have a career before any little ones come around (I don't think that's a problem right now).
My dad told me a few months ago, "You better have kids before you're 30." I feel that he's right. Now the hard part, getting myself where I want to be to have that.
Anyway, Mike, great news, even though it started off sounding like bad news (you kinda left all of us on the edge there about which way that was headed, but I figured it was all good). Best of luck to you guys with her. Don't let her see how insane you are (just kidding).
Man, what a shock. |
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So, they killed him.
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May. 26th, 2005 @ 05:45 am
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Current Mood: anxious
Jack Bauer is dead. Sort of. Have to wait for January to see where this is going. |
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News in the USA sucks.
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May. 26th, 2005 @ 03:08 am
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Current Mood: annoyed
AlJazeera
I think I might read them more often. They seem to have a real global attitude. |
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Wanna talk excessive?
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May. 23rd, 2005 @ 03:18 am
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Current Mood: irate
I never noticed before, but I was reading my old LJ, and apparently, she went through and deleted all her old comments. That's taking it a bit far I must say, as if I didn't take things far. But still. |
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Slightly Teenage Girl-ish.
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May. 20th, 2005 @ 04:00 pm
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Current Mood:  nerdy
So I get an e-mail today about joining the "Ben Folds Fanclub". I read it, and it sounds cool, and it sounds like loserdom, all in one shot. It's $25 bucks a year, and is not governed by record companies, but rather Ben's little hidden site, AttackedByPlastic.com, which all of the Eps were sold through.
I don't know if I should join, but there are autographed stuff involved. At the same time (and this is where the loserdom comes in...), and I quote, "Ben Folds Fan Club Membership Card (with YOUR name)". That seems a little lame to me. I don't know.
"Thank you Ben Folds fans for your huge response to us regarding Ben Folds first and official Fan Club. Ben Folds Fan Club is strictly being created for and available to Ben's most dedicated and loyal fans. Here's your chance to be a part of a greater Ben Folds community. If you become a member, you'll receive several benefits for a full year. The Ben Folds Fan Club will be guided and monitored by Ben Folds and his management...meaning no record labels, no under-handed marketing, no hidden agendas. Just simply a way for Ben to connect directly with his most loyal fans, while strengthening the community amongst all the worldwide fans...we hope you'll dig this."
I'm iffy on it, but it IS only $25 dollars. Hmmm....I'll have to think about it. |
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